Always the Planner, Never the Planned For
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Always the Planner: My Story
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been a dreamer. I would sit for hours, imagining what it would be like to grow up, to do something meaningful, something big. I remember writing short stories on the bright, fluorescent notebook pages my grandma gave me one Christmas. Those pages felt like treasures, and I would tuck them away, as if they held pieces of my soul.
As the eldest daughter—and a February Pisces, no less—I grew up quickly. I naturally fell into the role of leader, the one who planned and organized for everyone. I spent so much of my life chasing the milestones we’re told define success: excelling in school, getting married, building a career, buying a home. I checked all the boxes, one by one, but even as I achieved those things, there was always this quiet, persistent feeling inside me—a whisper that said, you’re meant for something more. No matter where I was or what I was doing, I never quite felt at home.
After my divorce, I decided to write this book. Divorce is hard—so hard—and it’s not a milestone anyone dreams of or hopes for. But after nearly 20 years of marriage, I came away with a lesson I’ll carry for the rest of my life: never let anyone, anything, or any circumstance make you smaller or dim the light of who you are. Life’s painful moments can break us, but they can also teach us, heal us, and show us who we’re meant to be. For me, I realized I had been shrinking myself for far too long, and it was time to embrace the truth: I am allowed to be me. And part of whom I’ve always been is a writer.
This book is my way of reaching out to anyone who feels the way I once did—to remind you that you matter. You are a priority in your own life, and it’s okay to pause the noise of the world to take care of yourself and love yourself. I hope these words bring you comfort, encouragement, and the courage to embrace the beautiful person you are.
When I am not writing, I dream (as Pisces are known to do). Dreaming of what is next and spending time relaxing with my beloved golden retriever, Daisy, two cats (Pearl and Nella), my tortoise named Tank, and a special someone who has my heart forever.
Thank you for reading—and for meeting these pages with your own story.